Self Service sign in use on the Thames

In the last 18 months, the Environment Agency has placed a sign at each end of every lock on the Thames to indicate whether a lock keeper is on duty.  It must have seemed like a good idea in the board room when a plain yellow circle on a white background was chosen to inform boaters that there was no lock keeper.

I wondered why some people then referred to the Thames being on Yellow Boards, even in mid summer.  Yellow Boards and Red Boards are normally displayed when the stream is rising, or strong stream warnings – a yellow or red sign is usually hung from the lock gates in a somewhat rustic style.  So yes, unless you have seen a real Yellow Board, the chances are that you may misinterpret the yellow circle are inevitable.

So over the summer every yellow board circle has been replaced with a blue circle with the words “Self Service” in bold white characters.  Now that makes sense but it would have been better to get it right first time.  The circles have been stuck on top of the old signs, so the cost is presumably not too much on this occasion so this pales into insignificance when looking at some of the British Waterways decisions costing hundreds of thousands. 

I wrote this in October but forgot to publish it; it still is a topical article and it reminds me that since the rain last week I have been receiving river status reports from the Environment Agency by email.  A far cry from hanging a swinging board on a lock gate, they now run a special website which describes the stream conditions at every lock.  Well worth bookmarking, and indeed well worth subscribing to the updates by email.

Heres the link : Environment Agency - River Thames Conditions

Kingston

Friday night, stopping in Kingston should have been a pleasure, marking the last night on the Thames before heading off to the Grand Union on a very early morning tide, but this weekend was not one of the best to visit.  First of all it was Hampton Court Flower Show which meant the moorings there were even busier than normal.  I advised a hire boater that it was proabably better to pop round to Kingston where the 24 hour moorings are much nicer, only to discover that mooring was prohibited from 10th to 13th due to the Kingston Regatta.

Busy moorings at Teddington

So went down to Teddington to discover that all the people who couldn’t get in at Hampton Court or Kingston were moored on or around the EA moorings there and there wasn’t room for us, so back to Kingston it was, where we moored just beyond the Regatta compound after all.

Looking forward to a couple of pints then an early night, I didn’t bother dressing up after the day’s boating and went searching for a pub with beer rather than one of the lager bars along the waterfront.  It was not easy – but Wetherspoons Kings Tun looked like about the best of a bad bunch.  Elsewhere Wetherspoons are normally more than acceptable pubs.  We tried to walk through an open door but got directed into a queing system instead, where three (sober) and smartish guys were getting annoyed about having to show their ID just to go into a pub.  The head bouncer moved in and quickly threw them out, which was well out of order.  The last time I had to show ID to enter a pub was probably more than 30 years ago.  Having passed the ID check, chief bouncer moved in.  “No shorts after 7pm”.  And that was that.  Barred from entering a pub for the first time in my life.  He thought it was most amusing and informed that the other customers wearing shorts had all come in before the deadline and could stay till closing time if they wanted, but somehow the manager would know if they let another in.  Good to know you have such a talent mate.  It is immensely clear that running a pub is not one of them, having googled for Wetherspoons Kingston and read some of the comments. 

So we found a mediocre pint elsewhere in a pub which seemed to be deliberately leaving half inch head gap between the beer and the top of the glass which is equivalent to stealing 20p per pint, topped off with the most foul sausage and chips from a town centre chip shop.  The foam box would have tasted better and was certainly fresher.  We crossed the bridge back to the boat and watched in amazement while the “M” night club by the bridge was operating an outdoor airport style security check complete with metal detector and five staff.  Just how bad does Kingston get on a Friday night to warrant this level of security!!?  Passing a Police Incident sign which asked for information following an unexplained death below the bridge a couple of weeks ago probably answered this question though.

And if that’s not enough, how about this … Serious assault on riverboat which has just been reported today even though it happened last weekend!

So here ended a lovely day’s cruising down the Thames from Staines but  I think I will give Kingston a miss next time.  Set the alarm for 04:30 and slept like a log despite the laughter and noise of the shortless and security checked revellers, carrying across the water.

OK - who is next? Queueing at Marsh Lock before Henley Regatta

On Saturday morning it seemed like a good idea to head down stream from Reading to spend another few weeks on the Thames and Grand Union so after a good stock up at Tesco we joined the crowds heading towards Henley, where we would have to pass through one of the main days of the Henley Royal Regatta.

Narrowboats were definitely in the minority as we queued for Marsh Lock amidst dozens and dozens of gin palaces, cruisers, shiny wooden launches and generally anything else which was capable of supporting a wicker basket and champagne bucket.

Unphased by the ever increasing queue, the seasonal lock keeper at Marsh, working on his own throughout the lunch hour, had everything totally in control, squeezing dozens of boats through the lock at time.  Sadly many of these boaters seemed to be from a different planet and our normal hellos, waves and acknowledgements were totally ignored with at best a “don’t let your dirty boat touch ours” glare.

As we dropped down the lock with a dozen others, the lock gates opened to a flurry of spluttering  outboards and whizzy bow thrusters as the other occupants fought for position in the un-scheduled Marsh Lock to Henley race, leaving us wondering what we had let ourselves in for.

First myth was quickly dispelled – at lunch time there were still plenty of moorings available before Henley Bridge, albeit at £50 pounds per night, but we headed onwards and joined a melee of boats waiting to go through the bridge and edge our way into the procession of boats running parallel to the actual race course.  It was a bit like driving a truck down Oxford street, keeping only inches away from the other boats in the procession, but it was great fun too.  It would be no exaggeration to say that several hundred boats were jostling for position up and down the mile and a half long course.  Every ten minutes another race took place, causing a foot high wave to cascade through the procession as the boats came through being chased by the Umpire’s launch – a very impressive piece of shiny rowing history in action.   I was struck with the thought that this would be a great time to do a toilet pump out with the holding tank sediment being shaken up like never before, but it was not to be. 

Henley Regatta boating

Amongst the hundereds of particpants we were one of maybe ten narrowboats moving at the time – definitely in the minority in the same way a gin palace with a brass band on deck would have been out of place at Braunston historic boat procession, but everyone seemed to be having a good time.  I hadn’t expected the fringe element to be out waterbombing other boats in pirate style, and was pleased not be considered a worthy target and mildly amused to see others having to cover their cucumber sandwiches in case of stray splashing.

But overall, if you want to visit in a narrowboat, you will more than likely be able to find a mooring in town, and with a bit of pre-booking or luck, there may even be a place for you along the course at a similar price.  There appeared to be plenty of late night entertainment lined up too, so I imagine there would some late night boating activity too.

So what if you were just hoping to pass through without any interest in the Regatta?  It is perfectly OK to come through but expect a delay of two or three hours for queuing at the lock and to pass down the length of the course.

Henley Regatta Course

Leaving the parade where most others turned back to go through it all over again, I guess this has been one of the most memorable hours of my boating experience.  Not perhaps my favourite, but nevertheless very enjoyable although unlikely to gain much respect in traditional narrowboating circles.

Continuing through Hambleden lock we passed maybe 20 large boats waiting to get up to Henley and the towpath telegraph was buzzing with stories of queues of 4 hours at Hurley, which may even have been true.  Satisfied with a most interesting day’s boating we moored up at Bourne End and had a beer or three in the Bounty - perhaps one of the most unusual pubs in the whole country, not least because it has no road to it - and poles apart from the world we left behind us in Henley.

If you know me you may know why I don’t blog about the boat I call home, and if you don’t then you will just have to wonder! 

Salters Steamer leaves Windsor

Our month on the Thames has been absolutely wonderful – it makes a huge change from the canals and really comes alive on hot sunny days where every conceivable use of the river is being made. 

Coming back to the canal, I am seriously tempted to get another short term licence and go back next week.

Every year I normally buy a Gold Licence which adds unrestricted access to the Thames and other non BW rivers but the additional cost has now increased to over £360 per annum.  This year I took out a standard licence and regret the loss of flexibility which the Gold would have given.  With visitor fees starting at £35 per day its not easy to justify short trips onto the Thames, although 14 and 31 day licences are cheaper it still cost £156.50 for the month.  Making a mental note to convert back to Gold for next year!

Tesco moorings, Reading, River Thames. No longer a free nightstop.